14 lifestyle differences between Parisian and New Yorker

Dec 10, 2024

An old article that wasn't published more than half a year ago has finally been released before the end of this year. Looking back now, it's just for the sake of knowledge recording and understanding. Personally, I'm not really into the French style and there's no need to imitate it.

New York is often compared with London and Paris. Many people's jobs involve traveling among these three metropolitan cities.

The overall outfits of Parisians exude a sense of relaxed elegance. They are neither too showy nor too ordinary. They carefully dress up to look effortlessly refined without overshadowing those around them. As the saying goes, "carefully cultivated to look effortless and to not overshadow your neighbor."

This article shares the fashion principles of the French, especially Parisians, that I've learned from Garance Dore's "Love, Style, Fashion" and Kate Betts' "My Paris Dream". The former is French but very much like a New Yorker, while the latter is a New Yorker with a touch of French style.

1. Fashion Education and Inheritance

Parisian mothers start educating their children on dressing at an early age, pointing out the flaws in their outfits. Parisians grow up under the influence of such fashion education. These elders will also give their children Hermès bags, Cartier jewelry and other items when they grow up. "Our mothers teach us very early on to say no to any type of clothing that doesn’t fit or flatter us.

“My love, pants just don’t look good on you; you should only wear skirts!”

The overall fashion level of Parisians owes a lot to the guidance of the older generation. Among peers, people often communicate about where they bought their clothes, remind each other if something isn't their style, and give practical suggestions on outfits, just like how Bibiane, a friend Kate Betts met in her Parisian host family, gave advice to Kate.

2. Attitude Towards Fashion Trends

Parisians don't chase after trends. They don't dress just to stand out or to be fashionable. They won't buy trendy items unless they match their existing wardrobes. They always choose what suits them best and know their own style. "The French woman will only buy a trendy item if she is sure she can make it work in her wardrobe, but being too on trend is suspect, means you’re a fashion victim, and—horror!—that you want to stand out."

3. Sportswear and Fitness

Parisians don't like sportswear, sports shoes, and they don't go to the gym much. There's a joke that gyms in Paris are mainly for Americans living in France. They really dislike the sweatpants and sports jackets that ordinary Americans wear.

"You’ll rarely see a French woman in her gym clothes, unless she is actually at the gym, which is rare because she also likes to say no to going to the gym,"

4. Habit of Purchasing Single Items

Once Parisians find an item that suits them, they won't hesitate to buy three or four of them at once. For them, the worst thing is that their favorite lipsticks, perfumes, coats, etc. are no longer produced! One of Garance's friends bought 45 bottles of the same perfume at one time, calculating whether it would be enough for the rest of her life.

5. Attitude Towards Fashion

Parisians are rather indifferent to fashion, often with a nonchalant look. When hosting a party, they won't shout, jump around like Americans do. They just sway their shoulders to the music, have quiet conversations or just chat and can talk with friends all day long. When others highly praise the color of their bags or are amazed by the styles, they would say, "This is just a bag; who cares!" But when the bag gets splashed with red wine stains, their coolness will break down and they'll be inconsolable, and no comfort will work.

Parisians are mostly cool towards fashionable clothes, but this coolness has its limits. Deep down, they attach great importance to their clothes, accessories and other outfits.

The following is an excerpt from the conversation between Garance and her friend with a strong Parisian style.

“Peeeeerfection!!!” I say as I grab it from her. (How American of me.)

“Oh, it’s just an old thing my mom gave me.” (How Parisian of her.)

“Oh, come on, now, that is pretty much a treasure. I’ve never seen one like it—and that color! It’s, like, the perfect shade of butter! And I love butter! Aaaaaahh loooove jealooooouuusyyy faaaashion hysteriiaaaaa.” (How American of me.)

“Garance, beware, you sound like a New Yorker!” she says with a wink. (How Parisian of her.) “This is just a bag; who cares!” And takes a drag of her cigarette.”

6. Emphasis on Privacy

Parisians attach more importance to privacy. They don't want to be photographed. Gossips stay within small circles and won't make it to the news or newspapers. They think that's something for public figures like presidents and politicians. While New Yorker newspapers like to report on who has moved, who has quarreled with whom.

7. Party Style

When Parisians attend parties, they usually wear high heels, jeans and have casually flowing long hair. They also like to stay in the corners, feeling as if they're not really part of the party. Parisian clubs are also small and dark, with many small corners.

8. Party Socializing

Parisians like to go to parties with friends. They won't go to a party if their friends don't go. Once at the party, they also sit with their friends instead of being assigned seats. The above points are the coolness of Parisians, somewhat cold, distant and with an air of nonchalance.

9. Accessory Preferences

Parisians pay attention to accessories, including silk scarves, newsboy caps, pearl necklaces and scarves.

10. Clothing Patterns and Styles

Parisians like tops decorated with polka dots, stripes, small floral patterns, or white shirts with lace trims, puff sleeves and other design elements.

Garance Dore: What do you consider sexy?

Emmanuelle Alt: Sexy, I think, is a smile. It’s a sense of humor. It’s someone who is at ease, funny. That’s sexy. Much sexier than a dress code.

11. Daily Activities and Keeping in Shape

Parisians don't exercise in the traditional sense, but they often dance, walk around a lot and climb the stairs of five-story apartment buildings every day. That's why Americans are puzzled that the French can eat high-calorie meals at dinner without going to the gym but still don't get fat.

12. Diet and Socializing

Parisians don't order takeout. Instead, they make some simple things at home like bread, red wine, desserts, cheese and smoke. When friends get together, it's also usually at home. While New Yorkers often socialize outside, eat out and are constantly having various snacks throughout the day, always carrying a latte, either taking a taxi or using the elevator.

Parisians will take a good rest and eat their meals seriously. In some small French cities, people even go home directly to have lunch from 12 noon to 2 pm. Some Parisians read novels while having a meal alone, some go to the park with friends to have a meal, and some go to French brassieres to have a salad...

Generally, the French take lunch very seriously and the pace is slow. New Yorkers, on the other hand, eat in front of their computers.

Another social reason is that the food manufacturing in France is not as developed as that in the United States, and the food laws are particularly strict. Genetically modified foods have been banned due to mass protests. Of course, France has always been famous for its fresh homemade cuisine rather than packaged foods or ready-to-eat dishes.

13. View on Love

Parisian women usually give a cold shoulder to men who pursue them. When they need someone to accompany them to a party, they'll be especially nice to that man, even thinking about having a baby with him. But after the party, they'll act as if they don't know him.

Parisian men, before finding the woman who can hold them in check, often go to parties with a bunch of girls, thinking that all girls are the same and being rather conceited. Once they meet the woman who treats them coldly, they'll turn into sweethearts, wanting to have a baby with her and forgetting about getting married first. Parisians are quite straightforward about love. When they meet the right person, they can chat for hours, and even go to bed that night. The relationship might end the next day, or it might not. When the relationship they want comes to an end, they'll sit alone in a café on a rainy day and smoke.

While New Yorkers go on dates, and men and women can date multiple people at the same time. Who knows which one is the best? So they have to date more people, which feels more like making a selection.

Many American women pursue perfection for themselves in order to find the perfect man, and the most important criterion for a perfect man is having a respected, stable and well-paid job, with good looks being secondary. Parisians have a romantic love between boyfriends and girlfriends. Once they have someone they like, they'll go after that person right away, not caring about perfection or wealth, but just whether they like that person or not, which is one of the reasons for the romance in Paris.

14. Pursuit of the Perfect Image

To become a perfect man, having money is enough. However, for those who want to be a perfect woman, the competition pressure is huge, with five girls competing for one boy. What's needed for perfection:

Figure: being both slim and having muscle lines.
Good career: for men, the best is to be a model.
A powerful social circle, including lawyers, financiers, celebrities, CEOs and a gay best friend.
A nice apartment in a good neighborhood, and even having a doorman.
Having particularly beautiful clothes. If you don't have money to buy them, you need to have friends in the fashion field who can give you some nice clothes for free.
Knowing the best restaurants, bars and their owners in the neighborhood (pretty New Yorker).

15. Other Customs

They like to complain, especially about the city and politicians. When they complain, it's easier to become friends if you complain with them.
Smoking: no one dares to ask a Parisian to stop smoking. They'll say they're going to quit smoking while still having a cigarette in their hand.
Parisian taxi drivers are quite crazy. They park randomly everywhere, know all the shortcuts and small roads in Paris and like to boast about their cars.
Parisians are very straightforward. If your clothes don't look good, they'll tell you directly to go back and change. But they won't be so straightforward in giving praise.
They are extremely loyal to their group of good friends they know, but very cold to outsiders. They might not talk to you for a whole year. Until one day they ask if you want to go on vacation together, then you become part of their family of friends. Although they might dislike you sometimes, they'll be faithful to you.
Parisians judge whether a dinner is good or not by how loudly and even angrily people talk. They can talk from 7 pm until 4 am in the morning, discussing politics, celebrities, philosophy and any other topics.
Parisians hate queuing. When there's a queue, they'll pretend to know the people in front, or form two or three queues, and finally the scene will be really chaotic.
They'll cross the road even when the traffic light is red. They'd rather cross among the traffic flow than wait.
Parisian women especially dislike the subway. Outside the subway, they are charming, confident and shining. Inside the subway, they look like they don't want anyone to mess with them, wrapping their scarves around themselves to make sure no one notices them or talks to them.
No one will call a Parisian to talk about work when they're on vacation.